You’re not the boss of me! This reminder is for men. But this reminder isn’t necessary for a particular group in China.
In the Himalayan mountains in Tibet live the Mosuo people. The Mosuo are a small Chines community where women are large and in charge. The females have the bulls by the horns. What bulls? Men, of course.
Women rule! Men aren’t the boss of them.
Many would consider the traditional Mosuo culture strange, exotic, and unconventional.
Imagine a society based on the female’s bloodline. Such a society is matrilineal; the ancestral descent is traced through the female. The mother’s lineage determines kinship or family ties.
Most societies, including ours, are patrilineal societies. In a patrilineal culture, the title, surname, and generations connect through the male or father.
And men rule! Well, they say, “this is a man’s world.”
And the debate of the sexes about a woman and man’s worth, in the world, continues. Various religious beliefs are the center of discussions.
My only objective is to tell you about this paradoxical society, not about the sexes battle.
Do you remember this rhyme? “Girls are made out of sugar and spice and everything nice. Boys are made out of snips and snails and puppy dog tails?”
In other words, girls are dainty and soft and therefore, weaker than boys. Boys are rough, tough, and stronger than girls. So, the boys are expected to help the girls.
Within the traditional Mosuo community, the women are tough. And there is no male dependency. The females are self-reliant.
Some say that there are Mosuo females who are physically stronger than males. This is also true in patriarchal societies. But without the help of men, Mosuo females manage many difficult tasks. They tend the family fields: planting and harvesting. Farming is a big part of their livelihood. The hard work and heavy lifting are a part of the females’ work ethic and tradition.
The Mosuo is a matriarchal society, and women are the heads of households, the head honchos.
The matriarch, the oldest female, makes the decisions and lays down the rules. Each member of the family is a descendant of the matriarch. The family consists of her blood sons, daughters, and children of her daughters.
Some call the Mosuo the “Kingdom of Women.”
The kingdom didn’t come about through women liberation. No, there wasn’t a revolution. This kingdom originated from an ancient culture.
What about the men?
Even though women rule, the men aren’t looked down on. They also work in their family fields and earn income to take care of their matriarch’s family.
Sounds strange, unorthodox, but not exotic, right?
Have you ever felt like saying, “Get to stepping, Joe? And don’t come back until I tell you so.”
Joe is every James, Daryl, or Sidney, who occasionally gets on our last nerve. You know your hubby, better half, other half, or spouse. That’s Joe.
A traditional Mosuo woman boldly says this or something similar to her partner. Let me explain.
The most unique and exotic tradition of the Mosuo women is their practice of “walking marriage.”
How can a marriage walk? Very well and whenever the need arises.
In a “walking marriage.” The women receive their male partners at night. The partners leave before dawn and return to their own homes. With only nocturnal visits, there are no expectations of living together or marriage. As a result, there isn’t a divorce rate.
When the thrill is gone, so is the male partner. And the female is free to select another partner.
Having children, especially a female, is revered and expected. Children belong to and live with their mothers. Fathers have little or no influence on their children’s’ upbringing.
In America, we talk a lot about the disadvantages of single parenting. But it is by design for the Mosuo. The mothers in the family rear the children.
There is no such thing as dead-beat dads or fathers.
The child belongs more to the mother as opposed to the father. The pervading thought is the man only provides the seed. A mother carries a child for 9 months and bears all the birthing pains. A mother gives life.
What about the love between the partners?
Tina Turner asked, “What love got to do with it?”
The traditional Mosuo women have the answer to Tina’s question. L-o-v-e has little or nothing to do with it.
Family love and support are more important than passion. Property, title, and other inheritances become the possessions of a female in the family.
Mosuo women are soft and tough. They wear the shoes, pants, and boots in the family.
Mosuo women are Beauties and the B-O-S-S!