We live in a selfie craze. Don’t you agree?
Selfies here, selfies there. Selfie, selfies, everywhere.
What’s your daily selfie count?
I’m pretty lousy at selfies. Especially group selfies.
Fresh makeup, a snazzy outfit, and a little attitude begs a selfie. With sleek mink lashes and contoured cheekbones, we smile broadly and exclaim:
I look good!
Our phone, Facebook, Instagram, and other electronic media are loaded with selfies. But have we taken an internal selfie or snapshot?
We’re always in touch with our outer appearance. Can we say the same for our inner likeness?
What does your inner selfie look like?
Wipe away the foundation and lift off the lash extensions. Who is the person in the mirror?
Beckon the real you to step forward?
A dolled up and healthy outer appearance doesn’t always translate into a strong internal sense of self.
A strong sense of self has little to do with hairdos, designer shoes, or manicured, polished nails. A strong sense of self isn’t reflected in your bathroom mirror but in your inner self-confidence. Just as the physical appearance needs a makeover, the mental reflection of oneself may also need attention.
In her #1 New York Times Bestseller, Becoming, former First Lady Michelle Obama stated that her upbringing, tribal support, and encouragement contributed to her healthy sense of self.
She said she saw herself as smart and very ambitious. And even when she didn’t start a conflict, she didn’t run from one. She would and could tango with the best of peers and acquaintances relative to her ideas, principles, and convictions.
Like Michelle Obama, we need a vibrant, healthy sense of self.
First, what is a strong sense of self?
A sense of self is values and beliefs that make you know “who you aren’t.” You know who you are and your worth. This worth isn’t based on how others perceive you.
Others may think little of you, but you think highly of yourself. You deserve and demand respect, not disrespect.
Kids model others when they are cruel.
Is calling someone “poor” derogatory?
If it is, no one ever called me poor. But white classmates did call me the “N” word.
But at an early age, I had a strong sense of self: smart, creative, fast learner, and a Christian.
A strong sense of self is a healthy sense of self. Your sense of self—secure or weak—walks, talks, sits down, and works when you do. People who feel they can’t be themselves when certain people are around lose their self-confidence.
Self-confidence is power.
Don’t give your power to others.
An opossum that plays dead has no power. He’s out for the count. And out of the game. Stay in the game and contribute. Don’t run or play dead.
Power or self-confidence is needed to accomplish goals and dreams. Guard and increase your confidence and strengthen your sense of self. Grow intellectually and spiritually to be the best version of you.
Trying to be someone else is taxing and futile. Remember, other peoples’ values may be different. Be careful about compromising your values.
Believe in you. If you don’t, very few people will.
People with a weak sense of self may agree with others rather than stand alone on their own conviction. Sometimes a different opinion can spur other ideas and opportunities. Every team member is important. That includes you. Give your idea.
Imagine that your life is an island and you’re alone. It’s daylight, and all is well. So, there is no reason to panic. You feel good about yourself: who you are, where you are, and your abilities. But when darkness appears, you’re fearful. The shadows of the night are overwhelming. You don’t know what to expect.
With a strong sense of self, you make a fire and wait for daylight.
In the daylight, when others give you the spotlight, you’re confident. But in the dark, when others overshadow you, you are reserved and less engaging. You’re not a country bumpkin, but you feel like one when you’re around certain people.
Get out of the shadows. Project your confidence and power.
Be happy with you. Am I good enough? Am I deserving?
You are good enough and deserving.
Don’t be a shell of yourself because of others.
Don’t envy, be jealous, or fearful of personalities.
Periodically, take a selfie of your inner self and nail down your values. Knowing who you are makes where you want to go a little easier.
Check your inner-self ID badge.
A healthy sense of self creates healthy personal and work relationships.
Stand up for your values.
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”
Henry David Thoreau