Some people say forget about the past; forget about yesterday and its goof-ups and disappointments.
Don’t you hate public mistakes? Many are self-inflicted black eyes that others can see. The embarrassment alone is an excellent motivator to learn from past mistakes or better judge one’s actions.
I remember an embarrassing moment while visiting the president of a prominent Alabama university. The president referred to his residence, which overlooks the campus and green landscape adorned with beautiful flowers. Searching for things to talk about, I asked about the curious title. He seemed stunned that I wasn’t in the know. I kicked myself many times because I didn’t do my research and wasn’t familiar with the place.
Can we really erase the days of our lives and experiences from the drawing board of time and start anew like nothing happened? Can we afford only to remember the good days and the taste of sweet success and not the bitterness of letdowns and consequences of rash decisions?
Learning from mistakes, regrets, misunderstandings, and other common fallacies is vital to personal growth and understanding ourselves and others.
It’s worth reflecting on the past and not rejecting it.
Reflecting is all about examining one’s behaviors and making changes to make better decisions, achieve positive results, and lessen negative consequences.
What happened? Why didn’t it work? What changes are necessary? Am I willing or capable of making the changes? These are a few important questions to reflect upon.
Refection is not for wimpy, noncommittal, or people unwilling to ask and answer tough questions about themselves.
Reflection takes courage and can result in taking responsibility for one’s actions, correcting behaviors, and learning from one’s mistakes.
We act in the present, which becomes our past, and reflecting on the past can create a better future.
They say the devil is in the details. If this is the case, there’s some work to be done.
We shouldn’t be surprised when things go awry when done half-heartedly or without planning. Planning for expected challenges is not too much to expect of oneself. It stands to reason that preparing for the unknown is even more challenging.
Knowing the expectations of one’s clients or audience, including family and friends, is a priority that demands thoughtfulness and careful consideration.
Planning decreases disappointments and elements of surprise or shock. Remember, what may be minor to one person may be significant to another. It is better to question and challenge one’s assumptions.
Some things never change, and the saying about assumption is one of them. Assuming makes the A word out of you and me.
We all belly-ache about tripping over ourselves or messing up in a big way, but what about doing things differently?
Edwin H. Friedman said, “The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change.”
What motivates one to change doesn’t move someone else.
Some say the best way to learn is through trial and error. Another name for this approach is errorful learning or learning by negative examples. If one can avoid the mistake, why not get it right the first time?
Here is one more point for the benefit of reflection. Don’t forget that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly but expecting different results.
“Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.” Yvonne Woon
Self-reflection is a good thing!
Be well.