Don’t you hate when people air their dirty laundry in public? But what about when they air-dry their clean laundry: briefs, boxers, or bras in public—on the front porch? In both cases, the revealing can be unsavory and obnoxious.
Front porches should have curb appeal. There is such a thing as “front porch etiquette.”
When I purchased my home, it had to have a front and back porch. It’s not because I’m a country girl. Porches are common extensions of houses. Houses in the city, country, and everywhere between have porches.
There are many advantages to having front and back porches. But the front porch is a part of the aesthetic appearance and appeal of the house. What’s on the front porch detracts from or enhances the overall charm of the house.
Let’s consider some functionalities of a front porch.
A front porch is a great place for a welcome mat.
It’s a place where people can wipe their shoes before entering the house. Actually, that’s why you have the welcome mat. Right?
The front porch is a checkpoint to vet strangers.
And a porch shelters your mail or UPS, Prime, and FedEx packages from the rain and snow. No one wants soggy mail or packages.
A front porch is a place to lounge, cool out, and relax alone or with family and friends.
Some folks decorate their front porches with squadrons of hanging baskets teeming with flowers. Others showcase a parade of coleus, petunias, begonias, and other flowers in planters.
Some porches are secluded. Others are in public view of neighbors and passers-by. Some porches may beckon compliments, but others may be objects of complaints.
Those in public view should pass the curb-appeal test. Don’t you agree?
No one expects people to win the porch beautification award. But we should all avoid breaching front-porch etiquette.
My front porch is visible to neighbors and passersby, so I relax on my back porch. And my neighbors do the same. But my husband makes sure our front-porch etiquette is a non-issue. I have potted coleus and firms on my front porch.
During my younger years in the country, the front porch was “The” gathering place.
After supper, everyone would spill out onto the porch. During the summer, inside the house was no place for rambunctious kids.
“Get out and get some fresh air,” Dad would yell. “Go on the porch!”
And when we got too unruly on the porch, we had to play in the yard. Let me explain. I have a large family. We were one shy of a soccer team. And we had two subs for a kid’s softball team when everyone was present. There were 11 of us.
Sometimes we ate dinner sitting on the front porch with our plates on our laps. This was fun. You just had to fan away a few hungry flies.
One day I stepped out on my front porch in Montevallo with a hotdog in tow, and my husband had a hissy.
“You do that in the country,” he grumbled. I promptly reminded him that he was from Bessemer.
It wasn’t like I had a plate of collard greens, black eye peas, fried chicken, and cornbread. What was wrong with eating while sitting on the front porch? It was just a hotdog.
Mom would plait my hair, we would play checkers, and card games on the front porch. Maybe 1 or 2 of these would be a little too throwback-ish or out of step for city folks.
But there are certain things I wouldn’t do on the front porch—in the country or city.
I would never grill or have a fish fry on the front porch.
I may put a kiddie pool on the porch but not without an understanding. No grown man in swim trunks or adult female in an itsy-bitsy bikini. Please!
I wouldn’t use my front porch as a purgatory for broken-down electronics, kitchen, washing, or drying appliances.
If you don’t want it or can’t fix it, give it away or take it to the dump. Squatters like rats and lizards love abandoned appliances and are hard to evict.
If your porch attire prompts you to duck and dive when seeing your neighbor, conscious impropriety may be an issue. And for those bold individuals who welcome oglers, let’s pray for them.
When I step onto my front porch, I’m usually Walmart ready or presentable. Occasionally, I may retrieve a package off the porch in hair rollers and robe.
Please be courteous to your neighbors and passersby don’t violate front-porch etiquette.