I recently watched the movie, “The Night Clerk.” The young male attendant has Asperger, a psychiatric condition. And ‘It’s complicated’ is a refrain of the film.
This post isn’t about the syndrome or a critique of the movie. This post is about today’s reality being complicated. Many people are dealing with a complicated reality during this pandemic.
How are you doing?
Whenever someone asked the hotel clerk how he was doing, he responded, “It’s complicated.” This was rather striking, but it was his reality.
It’s pretty normal to ask someone the question: How are you? Asking how are you is a salutation similar to saying—Hello! Both are casual courtesies and pleasantries to acknowledge an individual. I see you. You see me. Expected responses are good or fine and a reciprocal: How are you?
A literal response is overkill and not expected.
A simple hello has an exclamatory end. The same cannot be said for the open-ended greeting; How are you? Sometimes responses other than okay are personal risks that people—you know and don’t know— are willing to take to find a sympathetic ear.
Yes, people can catch you off guard. If the response is—I’m not doing too well—are you up to listening?
I’ve had strangers unexpectedly tell me how they ‘weren’t doing well’ in odd places: grocery store, pharmacy, dentist office, you name it. And their doing or not doing was complicated. I lingered, sympathized, and tried to encourage them however I could. But this was pre-pandemic.
Yes, sometimes, you have to choose your greeting carefully. Sometimes peoples’ cups run over, and they need someone to catch what spills out. They need a sympathetic ear.
We’ve all been there.
A while back, I almost spilled my guts in the pharmacy when a clerk asked me how I was doing. I wasn’t doing too great after Mom’s last bout in the hospital. Spewing my emotions would’ve definitely caught her off guard.
Sometimes emotions bubble up in unusual places. Now with this pandemic, this public door of showing concern is virtually closed.
How did the clerk’s co-workers respond to his teeming complicated situation in the movie?
Unsympathetic and annoyed, the co-workers silently waited a moment for the ‘trained response.’ And the clerk soon replied, “I’m fine, thank you.”
But if they really wanted to know how he was doing, ‘It was complicated.’
Simplicity—if there was ever such a thing—and normalcy have left the building during this pandemic. Detangling the threads and sorting life’s laundry: finding a job, securing unemployment benefits, trying to feed your family, dealing with in-class or virtual learning—everything is complicated.
Today, in all of our doings, staying safe is a priority, and it isn’t easy.
It’s okay to acknowledge that things are complicated. And we all need someone who is willing to listen to our complexities. Talk to a friend, spouse, minister. You are not alone.
And don’t forget to pray for spiritual strength to navigate this increasingly complicated world.
Stay Safe.