“I did it by myself.”
How treasured are these words to the self-made or by-my-own-bootstraps achievers? These people work hard, endure the hard knocks, and get their hands dirty to make things happen and be successful.
I call them me, myself, and I achievers who like to boast and toot their own horns; they are proud and not the least bit modest. Self-reliant folks dislike sharing the limelight, profits, and accolades. They maintain that they didn’t ask or receive help from others to get where they are today.
They didn’t receive or ask for financial, professional, or spiritual guidance? This is rather hard to believe.
Independence is admirable, but humility is realizing that God has a hand in every individual’s provisions, resources, and success.
And besides, it’s OK and admirable to ask for help.
We should be able to say: I need your help or ask: will you help me?
Many people think asking for help is a weakness, and they believe depending on others is a vulnerability or a risk that may result in disappointment.
Obtaining assistance from peers, family, friends, or others isn’t shameful or degrading. Making friends, valuing others’ contributions, and the possibility of achieving the goal sooner are a few benefits of collaboration.
OPT-IN TO TRUST AND DO THE ASK
Having apprehensions about NO responses when making an ask is understandable, but I like giving people an opportunity to say YES or NO. For many of us, NO reeks of rejection and does little for self-confidence. Asking is like opening a box of Cracker Jacks; one has to open the package or ask the question to get the prize or answer.
The pros to asking are worth it, and the response may be YES.
In addition to asking, accepting help can also be problematic for some people. Most of us dislike being beholding to someone. Sometimes lenders and contributors are worse than elephants; they never forget and never let you forget what they did, and they want to tell everyone else.
Of course, there are also trust issues. We trust ourselves more than others. And to boot, if you fail, there’s no one to blame but oneself. Some people are most comfortable gambling on themselves than others.
It’s challenging to know when to ask for and accept help.
I’ve passed on people putting in a good word for me in the past because I wanted to earn the advancement based on my own experience and expertise. Today, I probably would accept the help. Getting help could mean the difference between a short or long wait for success.
There’s a saying, “The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step” (Lao Tzu). Accepting help from others can shorten the number of miles to one’s destination.
Do or don’t I ask for help? This question comes up many times in every sector of life’s journey.
The Bible says, “Ye have not, because ye ask not.” This verse pertains to wisdom and spiritual gifts and common or big asks when there’s a need.
Is there anyone so intelligent and resourceful that they need no help?
Amanda Palmer said, “Asking for help with shame says: You have the power over me. Asking with condescension says: I have the power over you. But asking for help with gratitude says: We have the power to help each other.”
And we do. We have opportunities to help each other when asked.
Be safe.