Have you ever faked liking or enjoying something you didn’t care much about or disliked? What about speaking well of something you didn’t support or believe in because of social, professional, or other pressures?
Maybe you go alone to get alone because you don’t want to be singled out or stand alone.
William Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
If one is true to oneself, how can one be false to others? This is not the question for this post.
The question is: can we be authentic 100 percent of the time?
For instance: a mom holds her precious newborn. Congratulations are in order, and you look at the baby. The word ugly pops into your head, but you say, “She’s so pretty!”
That was a lie!
Some truths are self-evident—might an ugly baby be one of them?
Finding something neutral but complementary between ugly and pretty isn’t always easy. Precious, darling, or adorable may be befitting to avoid rudeness or lying.
I’ve called a visually challenged baby ‘pretty,’ adding the words ‘to you’ under my breath, and I still felt terrible.
Does Shakespeare’s famous quote suggest no compromise, what you see is what you get, deal with the real thing or no deal?
People’s truths don’t have to be brutal, even though they may hurt sometimes.
No mother deserves their baby to be called ‘ugly.’
But I had a supervisor whose mom self-proclaimed her as being an ugly baby. What mom would call their baby ugly?
People are accountable for their truths, decisions, and actions and how they present them to others. Regardless of social, political, and other labels, people are human. We can be honest about our feelings while being considerate and respectful of others.
There is outer and inner authenticity.
External authenticity is doing and saying things within one’s values, beliefs, and inner convictions that others see and hear.
One’s inner or internal authenticity involves being honest with oneself and knowing who we are and what we stand for.
Like the baby example, sometimes our actions don’t always indicate our inner thoughts and feelings. We put on a happy face when we’re sad and hurting inside. We may project a positive attitude, but it’s important not to fear revealing one’s true feelings and self to others.
We’re familiar with the saying, don’t ever let them see you sweat, so we pretend. Pretending doesn’t allow problems to be sorted and solutions discovered. But who hasn’t said I’m fine when not feeling one’s best? And no one wants to be labeled a complainer or whiner.
Maintaining good mental health is vital.
When it concerns the real you, are you comfortable and strong enough to be yourself on your job or in your relationships?
I never wanted to work for a company whose processes and standards would require me to compromise my values and beliefs.
When inauthenticity causes internal turmoil, a change in action or value may occur.
Being authentic is essential, but it doesn’t negate being responsible for what we say and do and how we say and do those things.
Be well.