One is the loneliest number.
Many songwriters have written lyrics about being alone, recalling the feelings of sadness, solitude, and rejection, as have poets and other writers.
Yes, one is the loneliest number that many have ever known and never wanted to know.
Who wants to be an island, a bubble in the ocean, or a bathtub?
Most people want to be connected to someone, accepted, appreciated, and loved. They desire to be personally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually connected to something bigger.
There is no substitute for the warmth of genuine relationships, including family, marriage, friendship, and other meaningful bonds.
The need for communal belongingness is a part of our DNA. Every organism has a need and is interdependent on another organism.
You may not feel a part of certain things, groups, or organizations, but you are part of the biggest, most fantastic, and beautiful group on earth, the human race. As humans, regardless of race, religion, geographical origin, and other distinctions, we have more in common than we have differences. We have many shared ambitions, needs, and experiences.
A sense of belonging is critical. God gave us this innate need and desire for connection, affection, and wanting to be seen.
From birth, a baby’s survival depends on human connection, affection, love, and care. This human bond is essential for the infant to thrive and grow physically and emotionally. As a newborn, our first sense of belonging kicks in as the mom holds, cuddles, dries, and feeds her child.
Like babies, we need to be seen, heard, held, and valued.
Even in our hustle and bustle, people say ‘excuse me,’ ‘hello,’ and ‘sorry’ to acknowledge others and show respect.
What do you think a stranger would say if I asked, “Do you see me?”
One response may be: “What kind of question is that?”
Or — “I’m not blind, of course, I see you.”
Sometimes we wonder if people truly see us. Do they respect and value who we are as individuals? Sometimes, we experience the feeling of not being seen at work, church, organizations, or even within our families.
The cost of membership or belonging to a group should not dictate who you should be or force you to become someone you are not.
When the price of membership is too high, chalk it up to their loss. Being one’s authentic self is more important, freeing, and priceless.
There are also instances when we learn to accept rejection, although it is painful.
Rejection causes emotional pain, which is not unlike physical pain, and it can be just as debilitating. This pain is usually silent and self-corrosive, which can stifle growth, confidence, self-esteem, and ambitions.
Like babies, people, regardless of age, need relationships, affection, and to be valued.
We never outgrow the need and desire to belong. A sense of belonging is not far removed in importance from other critical needs, such as food, security, shelter, and clothing.
We need to be seen as human beings, not ignored; heard as equals, not silenced; and valued as the children of God that we are.
We do not have to be shape-shifters, frauds, imposters, charlatans, people pleasers, and other impersonators to belong, feel seen, and be valued.
In the quest for more connections and social inclusion, do not forget: God’s circle includes everyone, human circles include some.
We have heard the saying, “To have friends, one must first be a friend.”
I hope you are happy and well.